Is she a flower or a weed?

 

Okay, ladies, turn your heads away for a moment. I need to render some mental images and pose a few queries to the men folk in attendance today. Yes, this is the “Old Block Church of What is on Your Filthy Mind”. You are a man, right? That instantly qualifies you as a purveyor of the almighty three “F’s”! (Food, Fighting, and F*cking, for the coarse among us. Gentlemen never use such terms, whether in mixed company or not, and certainly not in church!) So, the question on the table is, “Can you discern whether she is a flower or a weed?” Look around the congregation, and point that powerful digit of discernment at each lady in attendance, asking yourself, (or the digit), “Is she a flower or a weed?” (If you are a gynecological botanist, you are instantly disqualified from this exercise. You know way too much already!) Allow me to lay the groundwork for this little social experiment.

Some girls are like delicate, fragrant flowers, but if they are in someone else’s garden, you can only admire their beauty from a distance. You can inhale their fragrance as they blow past you on the street. You can admire their stems and petals from afar. You can even sidle up to them as the morning dew caresses their skin, but if they are not yours, not in your garden, hands off! You cannot pluck them!

Weeds, however, as some girls are sociologically classified, are fair game. You know right off the bat that they are weeds and that they are up to no good. With weeds, you can pluck away, and no one will stop you, but like the beautiful rose next door, some weeds have thorns, and still other weeds extrude toxic poison. So, do your plucking with the greatest discretion, and if you find a flower worth plucking, she might be worth cultivating. Becoming an expert gardener (or a gynecological botanist) could be rewarding. Know what I mean?

Have you ever been wrong, in your assessment of a woman’s or girl’s virtue? Women are socially encouraged to behave in a certain manner that often belies their own intrinsic desires and intentions. Familial upbringing, religious restrictions, and past societal customs have shaped some females into mere shadows of carnal perception. Think about it for just a second. Men receive brotherly slaps on the back and buckets of “attaboys!” when they “score” with the opposite sex. This practice begins well before puberty and persists deeply into what is laughingly known as manhood. (We never really grow up. Admit it! I am a 73-year-old, man-child.) Women and girls, however, receive derogatory slaps on their reputation and buckets of “sluts and whores” if they do the same things that men are famous for. (Not fair!) Let us give women and girls the benefit of knowing who they really are before we begin the professional type-casting.

Okay. Back to church. Have you made up your mind about the women around you? Is one of them your mother, sister, or aunt? It cuts like a surgeon’s scalpel when the blade of judgment becomes personal, does it not? The women and girls in your family, (including your daughter), are always under the microscope of societal perception. Young guys like and have vivid fantasies about being with a MILF, (your mom), as often as they dream of being with teenage girls, (your daughter). As much as you might want to, you cannot arbitrarily assault every man or boy who perceives your familial femmes as fair game. Even if you think you can read their minds, “cerebral slander” is not yet a winnable case. No, the best you can do, my friend, is alter your own perception and become a paragon of social and sexual behavior. Be the beacon of light that younger males aspire to pursue. Turn that powerful discerning digit back at yourself, and pull the trigger. (Game over!)