The "Old Block" Tells All.

  First things first; breathe. (Inhale through your nose; exhale through your mouth.) Not too much or you will hyperventilate and you might even pass out. (At this stage you might not reject a little mindless unconsciousness, but wait until you are near a soft surface.) Secondly, do not kill anyone, especially yourself! The “urge to purge” is a common thought among us warriors. We tend to want to surgically excise the cancer at the source, but after some sound mental rage abatement, we resolve to “Let them live”. So now you know how to survive the first three minutes after divorce, but life goes on after that. Did your spouse cheat on you? Did you cheat on your spouse? Are there children involved in this battle for redeemed self and sanity? Be honest and answer the “who did what and why” questions. In war there is often no “good guy; bad guy” admission, thus wars last for years and sometimes decades, however divorce, (although it feels like it), is not war. It is merely the ripping

  If you look up “wife” in the Old Block Dictionary, you will find a photograph of CMB next to the word. CMB is the epitome of the word and the most exemplary definition of the word “wife”! We met online, at a now-defunct dating website called “Christian 2000”, back in 1998 or 1999, (hey, I am an old man and I cannot keep track of such things in my limited 2 terabyte memory bank)! CMB tells the story so much better than I do, but whose blog is this anyway? So, you will have to suffer through the Old Block version, until you meet CMB yourself. I developed a website with tons of photographs and classic examples of my impressive pedigree. I included a link to my website in the automated email that the website sent to CMB’s profile. She recounts that she had second thoughts about posting her desire for companionship online, and decided to close her online account shortly after logging in. However, several emails were sent to her before she could end her bid for online love. When she

  I was created for your comfort and your absolute pleasure. Rest upon my strong and ever-lasting frame of wood, bone, and flesh. Feel my natural warmth and firmness, as I envelop and caress your every curve, with love and utmost care. Lean back, “I got you!” Have no fear or trepidation when you are in my loving embrace. Let me hold you forever and never let you go. I belong to you, and you belong to me. This is a marriage made in a mystical workshop where lucid dreams become reality.   Come to me each and every night, so I can love you like no other chair has the right to do. Let me be your chair, your comforter, your healer, and your lover. I was made for you. I am a jealous and vengeful chair, so please; sit nowhere else when you are weary or in search of love, comfort, joy, or pleasure. I will support you in everything you do or desire to do, as long as you faithfully desire to rest your weary mind, body, and soul in my lap of love. Yes, I belong to you, but your butt belongs o

Get your mind out of the gutter for a moment, and expand it to another conceptual degree of thinking. Most people think we only taste with our mouths, but a famous comic cooking couple taught me otherwise. (Lee and Stephen are not a real couple, but they are like brothers. You can find their cooking videos on a very popular shopping site that starts with an “A”.) They once told me that we eat with our eyes before we eat with our mouths. So, why not eat with other essential organs? Have you eaten something without smelling it first? If you smell an apple and eat an onion at the same time, how does it taste? Okay, the Old Block got side-tracked there for a moment, but the setup was critical to evoke your curious imagination and make you more susceptible to my eclectic way of thinking. (No, not “weird”, I said “eclectic”.) Let us assume that the heart and not the brain is our feeler gauge for love, and somehow can pump love through our veins. (The heart takes a great deal of credit for

Don’t be ashamed of your nature, baby, but don’t give it away to every guy that asks for a little either. As a modern woman, you still need to guard your virtue and protect your reputation to seamlessly blend into societal constraints. We are all human beings, and we all have our own unique physical, spiritual, and emotional needs. Sometimes we just need to talk with someone of the opposite sex, simply to validate our value to the social order as a whole. Sometimes we merely need the touch of an intimate hand to satiate our innate physical desires. Are you more physical and less emotional? It is okay to “Express Yourself”, to some degree! Are you looking for true love? Let every guy you meet know this, in no uncertain terms. Are you simply hungry for a midnight snack? Check the menu, and order what you want and need. Guys are not as fickle or shallow as you might have been told. Some guys want forever, but still others just want right now! If you endeavor to be successful in your ques

As a veteran of the Viet Nam war, I can tell you, unequivocally, that the battle of love and marriage can only be won via conditional surrender. Yes, there are conditions that need to be met on all fronts. First of all, she, (your significant other), is not the enemy, (hopefully). She should always be approached with a proverbial “white flag” when any confrontational parlez is imminent. Never approach a disagreement with guns blazing, because marriage is a fragile entity that can easily be demolished, by the simplest salvo. You never want to be angry or confrontational with your mate, because later in life you will understand that she is all things good and special in your life. According to marital law, her authority regarding your well-being and financial status supersedes any blood relation, unless you have specified otherwise in legal documents. She is you, and you are her. Husband and wife are the two that become one. So, your main condition with her should be “Love always, and