THE DOWNSIDE OF CHEATING

 

First, let’s explore what most people feel is the “upside” of cheating. Whether you are a man or a woman, if you are involved in a committed, monogamous relationship, (marriage or otherwise), any outside romantic incursions are considered cheating, (unless you have the contractual consent of your significant other; i.e. “open relationship”). If you kiss another person intimately, you have crossed the line, and are officially a cheater. (“Congrats on your demotion from the fold of the faithful!”) To a cheater, the upside of unfaithfulness is the extra, physical, emotional, psychological, and raw sexual attention the cheater is getting. Does the cheater feel sexually or emotionally neglected at home? Does the cheater seek to discover how desirable he or she is to the rest of the world? Is the cheater medically or psychologically aroused 24/7, and “required” to exercise their right to “get off” whenever the need arises? (“Got a note from your doctor?”) Is the cheater simply following the innate nature of a habitual cheater? (“I was born this way!”)

The downside of cheating is that it may potentially affect four or more people, not just the cheater and their partner-in-love. Is the cheater cheating with another cheater? Does the other cheater know that they are cheating with a cheater? How then, can a cheater be trusted to only be cheating with the “cheatee”? Does the cheater or “cheatee” have children at home? (Keep track of all of the innocent bystanders who get caught in the “Cheat Bomb” explosion as collateral damage.)

Oh! Did I mention VD? What about the “Crotch Killer”: HIV? Some people have been known to intentionally infect others with their “undetectable”, fatal parasites. The cheater might get a little something extra along with their “medically-required orgasm”. And how does the cheater feel about taking these unwanted, pleasure-born gifts home to their significant other, (or God forbid, their children)?

The worst side of cheating is getting caught. (Once was enough for me, I had to walk away. I wanted to destroy someone! Luckily I was saved by video games. I would rather destroy a million pixels than to end the life of one human being. Viet Nam taught me that valuable lesson.) So, what then happens to the family unit as a whole? Separation? Divorce? Or something uncontrollably worse that is classified as “a fit of passion”?

Honesty is the cure for the “cheating syndrome”. An honest and sincere, prenuptial discussion about one’s personal needs, at the outset of a serious relationship, will determine unequivocally, whether a relationship or loving bond is feasible at the current stage of life both parties are in. I tell my wife, of 24.5 years of faithful marriage, that I wish I had met her first. She said, “No. We would not have been “seasoned” and ready for each other at an earlier date. We had to be prepared for each other.” If she is correct, prepare yourself for a faithful relationship. Pluck some wild male or female weeds before you commit to one flower. But beware of hidden, or “undetectable” floral traps!