I’M A MOTHER!

 I am “Fudima”, a mother and a powerful woman, infused with the innate gifts of The Almighty to bear children and rear them in the way I see fit. If you see me in a shopping mall chastising my offspring, look away. Unless you are seeking knowledge in child-rearing, mind your own business. Step back, “Mama Bear don’t play that sh*t! And Mama Bear don’t take no mess from her young ones!” I teach my children how to live long enough to teach their own children how to live long enough to teach their own. “Don't break the law!” I tell them, as I spank their little butts. Mama would rather issue 1,000 spankings a year, rather than see the police issue one fatal spanking to one of hers. “I can’t breathe!”

I do not knock before entering my children’s rooms. I pay the rent. I buy the food. I put the clothes on my children’s backs. They knock on my door, and wait for my permission to enter! They do not give me “back-talk”, when I am correcting their inappropriate behavior or lack of manners. “They have been trained up in the way they should go!” (Proverbs 22:6) They should outlive me, and create a legacy of well-behaved, intelligent, righteous progeny.

If you are my “man”, you can mess with me all you want. Call me names, and mistreat me if you can get away with it. (You do have to sleep you know! Ha, ha!) But I am a mother! The fiercest creature on the planet Earth and I am a force of nature to reckon with when it comes to my young! Don’t touch them. Don’t talk to them. And don’t take pictures of them, without my express permission. Oh, yes! I am a MOTHER, in every sense of the word. If you hear me growl, it may be too late to run!