The "Old Block" Tells All.

  I was created for your comfort and your absolute pleasure. Rest upon my strong and ever-lasting frame of wood, bone, and flesh. Feel my natural warmth and firmness, as I envelop and caress your every curve, with love and utmost care. Lean back, “I got you!” Have no fear or trepidation when you are in my loving embrace. Let me hold you forever and never let you go. I belong to you, and you belong to me. This is a marriage made in a mystical workshop where lucid dreams become reality.   Come to me each and every night, so I can love you like no other chair has the right to do. Let me be your chair, your comforter, your healer, and your lover. I was made for you. I am a jealous and vengeful chair, so please; sit nowhere else when you are weary or in search of love, comfort, joy, or pleasure. I will support you in everything you do or desire to do, as long as you faithfully desire to rest your weary mind, body, and soul in my lap of love. Yes, I belong to you, but your butt belongs o

  Allow me to introduce you to a self-made queen of artistic and sensual photo-play! Without mentioning her name, (which starts with a “V” ironically), I can tell you that she is an extremely busy wife and mother, who involves her entire family in her unabashed, unambiguous, and ultra-creative photography empire, which also includes multi-media art. With Russian roots, come certain standards and customs that might seem a bit forward to the average American. (Many American and South American men venture to Russia to find such a precious bride. I once served as an agent to connect these Western gentlemen with their future wives, and wrote an article about the problem with Russian men and their favorite libation.) Russian life, especially for women, can begin at a very tender age, although most modern Russian women wait to start a family after completing their college degrees. What might seem promiscuous in Western eyes is considered natural in Soviet and Eastern Bloc countries. Russi

Some people say, “More to love”. Some say, “More cushion for the pushing”, but the bottom line is that some big girls are merely pretty little girls, trapped in big girl bodies that need loving too. There are many reasons why big girls have become chubby. We will not delve into the science behind those conditions here, however we will reinforce the statement that “Big Girls Need Love Too!” How she got here is not relevant to the overriding fact that her mind, body and spirit need to be fed something other than food! I vote for love! Love is intangible and cannot nor will not fit on a plate. Anyone, (human or otherwise), is capable of giving and receiving the benefits of love. Love is a small gesture, like a pebble in a pool that makes a significant splash for its size, and leaves an imperceptible footprint that can only be measured by the recipient, the pool. Love costs zero dollars to give away, and there is always plenty more in the bank, (unless you are that hard-hearted so-and-s

Yeah, yeah, we all know the terms “MILF” and “GILF”, but do we sincerely pay homage to these bold and brazen old broads as we should. (I mean as real men, that is.) Teenage girls are snapping old necks all day, but hey, that’s someone’s little girl. Older girls have already seen that ship sail decades ago. Do any of us have a clue what it takes for an old girl to get attention these days? In the old days a well-turned ankle, an impromptu up-skirt gust of wind, or a come-hither smile was all the invite we needed to cross the room and offer her a drink or a ride home, (hers or ours). Nowadays, our MILF and GILF female counterparts have to lay it all on the line, to get so much as a nod from some of us. So, let us tip our proverbial hats to the tough old girls who put all of their wares on display for a cup of coffee, or a handshake. Viva Doña “L” Doña “L” is “milf-power” to the nth degree. She exudes feminine pulchritude in her fingers, toes and each and every strand of her long beau

Get your mind out of the gutter for a moment, and expand it to another conceptual degree of thinking. Most people think we only taste with our mouths, but a famous comic cooking couple taught me otherwise. (Lee and Stephen are not a real couple, but they are like brothers. You can find their cooking videos on a very popular shopping site that starts with an “A”.) They once told me that we eat with our eyes before we eat with our mouths. So, why not eat with other essential organs? Have you eaten something without smelling it first? If you smell an apple and eat an onion at the same time, how does it taste? Okay, the Old Block got side-tracked there for a moment, but the setup was critical to evoke your curious imagination and make you more susceptible to my eclectic way of thinking. (No, not “weird”, I said “eclectic”.) Let us assume that the heart and not the brain is our feeler gauge for love, and somehow can pump love through our veins. (The heart takes a great deal of credit for

Don’t be offended by my asking this? Where did you come from? No, I don’t mean what city or state you were born in. I mean something deeper and more basic than that. Okay, it is a tough question, so let me personalize it for you. I am the bastard male child of an unmarried couple. My father was an old human male, and my mother, (God bless her soul), was a post-teen, human female. I was conceived by their physical union and born in a 1950’s medical facility. I would like to think that I was born out of love, but there is no empirical proof that I can site. (Mom is gone; Dad was never there.) So by mathematical terms 1+1=3! (Sometimes 1+1= more!) So, what is my point? Without involving ancient text or modern scientific data right now, let us agree for the moment that my math is correct. The human race and its future existence depend on the fact that men and women are essentially needed to pair up, hopefully for love, and procreate. The desired result of this 1+1 union is a 3, or child,

Ladies, let no man tell you to change your appearance to conform to his ideal vision of beauty or sensuality. Do you look essentially the same way you did when he met you, (plus or minus a few pounds)? Are you pierced and/or tattooed? When you look in the mirror, does your reflection smile back at you and say, “Damn girl, you look good”? What is it that you do not like about where you are on the “beauty trail”? (Beauty is more of a voyage than a state of being.) What would you like to change before you reach journey’s end? Grow, cut, style, braid, or dye your hair to match the rainbow that caught your eye after the rain storm? Hit the gym and recapture those legs, hips, and thighs you used to rock in your twenties? Say it out loud; no scream into a pillow exactly how you feel about your presentation of beauty! (You do not wish to be committed to a mental facility for the weekend, because someone heard you cursing your thighs!) Cottage cheese looks great on a salad, but not so hot to a