IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME, (D.A.A.D.T.)!

 I wrote this Blog today for all of my readers and social media followers, as well as anyone who thinks, says, or imagines that they love me! If you really love me, then you know what a great gift My Heavenly Father has given me as far as knowledge, discernment, and the overwhelming capacity to love all human beings as if they belong to me and mine.

If you really love me, “don’t ask and don’t tell” what we have between us, with people who do not share the same love, feelings, or emotional connection that we share! For more than 70 years, people have mistaken my kindness and unconditional love for weakness that can easily be exploited. So, if you really love me, understand that I was born an Alpha Male. As a little boy, adults called me “Manish”! The connotation back then was that I was a grown man living in a child’s body, who exhibited mannerisms that were usually attributed to adult males of the “Alpha Persuasion”! “Basically”, I liked women and girls far more than I was expected to. Women are the most delicious and precious fruit on the vine! If you are a man who prefers men, I can only feel pity for you, because you are missing out on God’s most precious gift to man! (Adam lost a rib for her!) How many men who are the masters of their own harem have sacrificed even a fingernail for their bevy of beauties?

If you really love me, you know that I fell to my virtual death in 2016, and only by the Grace of God, through my loving wife of more than 27 years, and a team of diligent doctors, nurses, and paramedics, was I revived several times, and am able to pound out my heartbeat on this keyboard! If you really love me, you know that after a life-threatening DVT/PE, AKA Blood clot, I spent an undetermined time in a coma, while my whole body rebooted itself and decided (without my personal input) what kind of man would emerge on the other side of death! If you really love me, say, “Thank you, Heavenly Father, for keeping this old geezer on the planet for another season!” If you really love me, you would know that a parade of ethnically diverse human beings visited the hospital where I was medically interned, all claiming to be my family! (Some were coerced/”guilted” into visiting, but I digress!) I am only special to those who really love me, because they really know me and my sacrifices.

If you really love me, you will understand and forgive me for my many shortcomings (I could write a book on those, and eat for five years!) If you really love me, you know that dying affected my short-term memory! (I could tell you that I lived at 9795 Garden Drive, Hanford, California, as a child; as to where I live right now (other than Vegas), I need my cell phone or my driver’s license to give you accurate details (and I recently lost and had to replace my driver’s license)! I never get lost, though, so do not worry! I can drive like a pro, and my internal homing beacon always gets me home, no matter how many wrong turns I make! And I make enough that I confuse the GPS lady! (“Beep! Wrong turn! Beep! Go back, Idiot! Beep!”) She loves me though, really!

If you really love me, you will never ask me for money or to buy you something. Since I died, my wife and children handle all of my financial affairs. (I still have excellent credit, thanks to my wife, big sister, son, daughter, sister-in-law, and my wonderful niece, who is my first adoptive daughter.) I could buy a huge house with my G.I. Bill, but only if everyone I love would come to live with me! (“You coming?”) The people, who financially fortify me, have Power of Attorney to make sure I am the most comfortable, loved and healthy old man on the planet. (My Son calls me King, and I have a throne, coffee mug, and ball cap to back up my royal pedigree!)

As the Alpha Male and Patriarch of my little family, my word has great weight, but only because those who love me give me that authority. I tell them, “I am a Monster!” And I even growl like one, but only after wiping away tears of love for the empowerment that my loved ones bestow upon my old carcass! Once upon a time, I could truly say with great conviction that as a combat veteran and martial artist, I was somewhat a threat to my enemies (which I hope I do not have)! If you really love me, you know that I have always been a peaceful monster. I curl up in my cave with my brood and play PC games! I have always taught my loved ones how to defend themselves, starting with my first daughter/niece! (Better to give them a stick than beat up all of their rivals, right?)

If you really love me, you know that I have the capacity to love a room full (if not a world full) of people! I have been with women from all cultures, and as long as they did not mind me embracing my own, they were fully and completely loved! I do not hold back! (My eyes and hands have a mind of their own: “Manish”, remember?) If you really love me, I can love you back with greater intensity than you deliver to me, no doubt: “Manish”! I can help you become the great thing that you crave to be, because I have experienced every vocation from the cotton fields to the boardroom, and I am eager to share my love and experience with the world at large. I have been considered to be an idea bank, and if you really love me, you already have the combination.

If you really love me, you know I do not lie. (Even to my own detriment: When those miscreants stole a watermelon and handed it to me while I was down by the railroad tracks catching polliwogs, the owner of the store who was chasing them saw me standing there holding the evidence. The truth set me free! (I even got a free watermelon, which I took home and gave to my mother!) Ok, I may have told a little off-colored fib growing up, but never a lie! My Mother drilled it into my head: “If you lie, you will steal. If you steal, you will kill!” If you really love me, you know that I would rather kill a trillion pixels in a video game than hurt one innocent human being!

If you really love me, D.A.D.T.! I will always love you back and keep all of your secrets locked in my vault. Short-term memory loss, remember?