THRONE AWAY!!

 

When a 200-pound, 6-foot-tall, 76-year-old, retired war veteran becomes a gamer, gaming chairs have no chance, whatsoever! However, thanks to the love and care of my beautiful niece and personal influencer, the wonderful man I call Sun, and the Love of my Wife (I mean Life, who assembled this wonderful work of art), I am no longer driving a gaming chair with one door! To say that I am “hard” on gaming chairs would be a gross “misunderstatement”, to coin a word! My old chairs “cried” every time I sat down. (I am sure my retired neighbors could hear the metal framework snap under my vicious daily assaults on their hapless leather, steel, and plastic construction!)

As I stated above, I am retired, but I still “clock-in” to my “j-o-b”, and “j-o-y” every single day, without fail! Since they invented the word “gamer” (and probably a half-century before that), I have been one! (A “gamer” that is! Heck, does anyone remember “Pong”?) I take my job and joy seriously, putting in more hours a day than most people breathe! (I even worked as a clandestine Beta Tester for a famous console manufacturer that begins with an “S” and makes a world-famous console that begins with a “P”!) I prefer computers, though!

My loved ones support my “work” and even enable me to successfully advance in my position as a gamer! But poor defenseless chairs, I assume they were not built to withstand the sheer magnitude of my advanced onboard weaponry, the massive bulk of my armor and munitions, or the vicious daily attacks I fend off, while comfortably “mousing”, “keyboarding” and “joy-sticking” my way through the most intense battles that one Old Block can endure! (I cannot remember if this new beauty is my third or fourth since migrating to Vegas!)

My sun calls me “King” (and even bought me a ball cap with “King” emblazoned on it to verify my royal status). So, my gaming chairs would aptly be called thrones, and when they have all outlived their usefulness, they are either donated to second-hand stores, or, in the case of the last, door-less racing chair, “Thrown Away!”